Monday, November 26, 2007

Tuesday, November 27 Assignments



All in class and homework assignments same as Tuesday, November 20

Here is a real 4 (Perfect Score) Essay
Sample GED Essay Writing Prompt Topic
What is one important goal you would like to achieve in the next few years? In your essay, identify that goal. Explain how you plan to achieve it. Use your personal observations, experience, and knowledge to support your essay.
Reprinted with the permission of the GED Testing Service

Over the next few years, my main goal is to obtain a college degree from St. Johns University in Collegville. This goal will be very difficult to obtain and I will need to work hard at it. Three things that will affect the outcome of my goal are; how much money I can raise to pay for it, how much time I am willing to spend studying, and my dedication in training for football.

Before you can register at a college, you must consider how it is going to be paid for. This is especially an issue at St. Johns, because the tuition is around $22,000 a year. This is a huge sum of money. It is not made easier by the fact that my parents will be able to contribute very little towards my education. Thus I am forced to rely on scholarships, grants, and loans from the government and other agencies. I have already taken some action by applying for scholarships, but I will have to apply again next year. I received a $7,500 scholarship from St. Johns and they have also given me some grants. The rest of the money will have to come from student loans and an on
campus job.

The next area that will affect my goal is the classroom. This is important because the main point of college is to prepare meself for a successful career. In college, I will need to apply myself and take time to study every night. Sometimes, I may be forced to give up things that I would rather do, but I must if I am going to achieve my goal. I must create a relationship with my professors because they will help me obtain the information that is needed to be successful.

The third thing is my dedication in training for football. Football is my favorite sport and St. Johns has an excellent football tradition. They have150 players out for football each year. If I am going to be successful and contribute to the team, I am going to have to be dedicated to training. I must spend tireless hours in the weight room gaining strength and quickness.

I believe all of the hard work will pay off. If I can do these three things, I will successfully complete my goal of graduation from college. If this goal is achieved, I believe I will be well on
my way to a successful life
Reprinted with permission of the GED Testing Service

4 comments:

TAKEN BY DRO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TAKEN BY DRO said...

I am sorry it got erased but I hit the wrong button. I appreciate the comments and honest about my writing. An I would like to rewrite and write one according to the perfect one tonight for homework and I want you to tell me if they are perfect and if not what improvement are needed so be prepared for those two updates by wednesday but definitely thursday. Be on the look out for those perfect two essays. They will be perfect score material hopefully, thanks to your encouragement.

stakolee said...

Tiffany,
One thing that will help is to eliminate run-on sentences. Your comment post has a super-long sentence in it that you should cut into several pieces and repost:

An I would like to rewrite and write one according to the perfect one tonight for homework and I want you to tell me if they are perfect and if not what improvement are needed so be prepared for those two updates by wednesday but definitely thursday.

stakolee said...

This essay in my mind is a 3, not a 4, even though the GED scorers gave it that perfect grade. Here's why I think the score should be lower.

The writer uses the prompt to establish the main idea, but the focus is uneven. He or she spends too much time in the third paragraph talking about the expenses of college before offering a solution.